Mental Health Day

So I just really didn't feel like getting out of bed today to go to class. I haven't taken one in a while, my attendance for class has been superb. I figured today, one day, wouldn't hurt (and I really didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't see the point in getting out of bed when everything is so shitty) so thus I stayed in bed and I feel really good about that decision. I like my mental health days, the only thing that could make this day better would be if I went shopping or got my new tattoo. (I have 4 and I'm going to get two more soon but I have to figure out a time to go set an appointment so I am lagging it currently, but my goal is to definitely get it before my birthday that is coming up) I have no class tomorrow so this is great. I'm feeling kind of blah, but what else is new right? Most people say it's the pills in the past year that have changed me and made me more "emo-esque" and inhabit hermit-like qualities because I like to be alone and not around lots of people or if I am around a lot of people I can't stand them for long periods of time without alcohol. Meh, I like to say it's because I'm growing up and getting older and thus am becoming more comfortable with myself so that I do not feel the need to have to go out with tons of people to seek approval or validation, this also plays into the whole not needing to fill in the silence when I'm around people. I'm perfectly comfortable with enjoying silences. But who knows? I've changed a lot a lot during these past couple of years it's incredible.

I feel like I need some new change in my life, everything is becoming too stagnant and routine again. And every time that happens I get into a rut, a mood where if I don't do something drastic soon, I'll go crazy. Whenever I used to feel like that I would get a new piercing or tattoo, but most times I would dye my hair every month because it was the least permanent and I am not dumb about tattoos, they're for life. I stopped dyeing my hair because I didn't want my hair to fall out, but it's been almost a year and a half and I've been feeling like I want to dye my hair again, but I'm not sure what color. I feel like I might be depressed. Meh I'll figure it out later.

Hm all I ever want to do is stay in bed all day, and if it wasn't for it making my body/back ache for being in bed too long, I would do it. Or if it didn't make me feel so restless, but after this post I probably will go back to my bed to soak up all the bad emotions I've been feeling. It's almost as if, if I stay in bed and don't join the real world, that everything almost goes away. Hm almost.