I Don't Do Mondays, But Sushi Always Picks Me Up

Yeah, the title of this post is pretty much self explanatory. I am not really disciplined in doing the things I am supposed to on a regular basis such as things regarding school. Well mainly pertaining to the subject of school. Work related things are different because it's a different kind of work ethic and I shine in those situations. I have different mentalities for different situations. As for school I'm basically considered a slacker (but in terms of never showing up to class but I get my shit done and I don't half ass, I used to be a slacker until I started getting good at it which wasn't up until my third year of college. I mean I was good in high school but I like to have fun so priorities change. But really, leave it to me that when I finally get good at school, I'll be shortly leaving it when I graduate in Spring 2010. I know right, go me! Although I've seemed to have aquired better study habits and slight motivation with the aspirations to learn, (I think it's because the first two years for general requirements are crap and the last two are when you finally start learning what you're supposed to be learning for your degree, profession, and career aspirations) sometimes the occasional feeling of my slacker days comes back to tempt me.

Anyway I ramble. So the point was I did not want to get out of bed today. But I don't want to fuck up now. I have too much to lose and my grades are very much getting better so much to say that I am getting quite proud of myself. I used to freak out and feel so ashamed about my grades, but I'm doing quite well now. So a motherfucking pat on the back for me yeah! Haha.

Strangest thing about me. I like being up early but I like staying up late. I hate being tired, but I'm tired all the time and all I ever want to do is sleep. I like to sleep but I hate wasting the time sleeping. I like to be up when no one else is up. It's a nice alone time for me when no one bothers me. Most of the time I feel like there are so many obligations pulling at me and I end up hermiting and therefore feeling the need to block everyone and everything out. Hence the ignoring thing I do.

I woke up and I was just fucking my life and cursing the world. I get really grouchy (Mind you, I'm the type of person who ignores everything until after I have brushed my teeth and washed my face. Not to say that I don't ignore people in general because I do) when I'm tired or when I'm hungry. Haha. So even before I stepped out of bed, I immediately was already looking forward to after 4 when my class would be over so that I wouldn't have to continue channeling my back up energy I have on reserve in situations such as these. That may not make any sense, but you know, I am a one of a kind genius. :D Not everyone can be a rockstar like me. Haha. (Aside from my dark and twisty demeanor, that isn't all who I am. I am very multifaceted and quite a delight to have around. :D I got jokes.)

Anyway, so class is finally over and I love that feeling because it's so relaxing afterwards and then you can just let it all hang out. Today I have decided to break away from my hermit routine and rejoin the human race. Not only will I be just hanging out, but also I will be having dinner as well. And I have to say, I am pretty excited, but mainly for the food. Haha I love sushi. It's a beautiful thing and wasabi makes everything better. Foreals.

*Side Note: Ever since I have started this blog, for the strangest reason and I don't know why, but I've started to feel emotionally better. Sometimes even light and happy. I don't know. Maybe it's liberation tied with relief, but something has definitely begun in me and is happening. Maybe the whole finally being openminded and able to just talk honestly the fact that this blog is sort of anonymous definitely does help. I feel like this way if people judge me, it won't matter because they don't know who I am or who this blog belongs to. (Well except for the few friends I have actually shared my blog link to, and I am worried when they have access to my blog, but at the same time it's like I'm slowly beginning to just maybe not care, but definitely just be whatevers about it all) But in a disgustingly mushy way, it seems to be playing a huge part in my personal growth development. Meh.

Whatevers, I'M EXCITED FOR SUSHI SUCKAAS!


heehee they're also candles. (: cute huh?