Even Brighter Than

"Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin. Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in.
Do you ever feel, already buried deep. Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing." -Sorry, can't help but love this song and its high repetitive notes which are fun to sing to. It just goes to show that really, no one ever listens to the lyrics. Unless you are a kindred spirit like me.

Yep, totally woke up this morning wanting to just continue sleeping.
I don't want to work anymore, all I want to do is just sleep and sleep and sleep.
Drugs don't do shit.
And my physician wouldn't prescribe me a greater dosage. Well, because I'm at the highest (300mg) and there are only 2 doses (150mg, 300mg of course) for Wellbutrin XL. They say it's the good stuff.
With the high influx of post activity and intertwined desperate and disconsolated pensivity, you can tell it's happening again can't you? Why does it always seem like it's happening again? It seems to be always happening again, but when is it going to get there? When is it going to hit its mark? What does hitting the mark actually mean?
I'm so over everything of last year. I'm just so over it all. I mean, it was a great year, but I'm ready to leave it behind me and never deal with it again. But, you know that's just how I am, I don't like to go back and do what I've already done. So ready to delete and discard. (two of my favorite things to do) Things that happened just a few weeks ago feel so far away from me now. And I just don't care anymore. Weird how that often seems to happen to me; the rise of a sudden euphorically nonchalant behavior- which I fully embrace and love. (But a price to pay because it stems from my sporadic high and low mood changes that can occur in an instance) I love fresh and new starts. (You know me, I thrive off of starting a new and discarding. I don't know why I do it- like to push everything away- but it's one of the things that I cannot live without. Feels pretty good and liberating.) Perfect opportunity. I can't wait to go home after work and crawl in bed.