Yep, so all that crap I wrote below last night about starting fresh, didn't work. I had absolutely no motivation to get out of bed today, but henceforth I did because I have no other choice. Just because your life stops, doesn't mean that the world stops with you. Only you and you alone can save yourself. (but what happens when you're just too tired to continue doing it? I would rather have someone break through the threshold and do it for me regardless if I want them to or not, just so I wouldn't have to think and make decisions for myself anymore. That would be utterly fantastic, but life is never fair, ever.)
I didn't go to work yesterday and adding another day would just make my workaholic personality feel tremendously guilty.
But, it's getting harder and harder to get out of bed everyday now. I'm starting to think that maybe I should be taking a different perscription. But then again I haven't been taking it consistently lately, so yeah.
Update*** 3:31pm
As of right now, this is the first time in a really long while that I am actually craving a Marboro 27 so badly, almost desperately because I feel like that's the only thing that may calm the fluctuating pandemonium which still continues to reside in my chest, like a cloud of hyper-active electrons, no matter how much I try to battle it with an unrelenting intake of electrifying caffeine.
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