Yet..

Yet there is this other guy in my life. There are many others that I could most definitely rebound off of though proudly I've chosen not to while relentlessly physically pushing them away with force. (My greatest feat thus far that I happen to be quite proud of.. Yes as of now, I am very much striving to work on my weak self-discipline and not give in to instant gratifying temptation)

But this one guy. He's a good one and I know it. We've become great friends over these few months miraculously, I mean how often does that happen? Really.

And with one instance of him whether it be in person or not; without reason, it seems to brighten up my mood no matter what somehow.

Yet I'm unsure. We're friends. We've become those friends that are awkward yet are able to be comfortable and say anything at the same time. Weird right? And he's able to say even the slightest statement and suddenly make me feel better or make my day better when it's turning to shit for the matter.

I don't know. Sometimes, I think of him. And it makes me feel somewhat elated and better about all the shit that has gone on with me. But he is just a friend and I sometimes try to imagine what it would be like, but truthfully, I can't really imagine it no matter how great of a guy he is. Yet, somehow I feel like that's just all we'll ever be. Friends. (Maybe I know it with confirmation in my every being) Like for both of us that we'll be nothing more ever. How twisted is that?

And the only reason I would ever admit this is because I am ever so slightly inebriated with vodka right now. Lovely liquid isn't it?