"Because It Feels So Good When I Stop"

So I'm am religiously addicted to the television series Grey's Anatomy. Don't judge me. I can't help it, I love the drama and the hurt and the comedy all wrapped up into one. I love it. And the monologues among other text is damn good writing. (Me being an English major and my affair with the English language, I care more about the words and text itself. Many who aren't studied in a literary field wouldn't understand- my friends certainly don't.) And again as I always say, we're attracted to things because they reflect a narcissist quality about ourselves.

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop"
^My masochistic tendencies.

"That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."
^But this is my favorite although I can't impose it fully on me at the moment because I'm sucking at life at odd times.
*Honestly I thought of this quote when I woke up today. It seems like I've reverted back to my old way of just always wanting to be asleep to pass the time away because for me, I'd rather be asleep right now. It is better than being awake and having to bring into reality the extreme suckage at stake. Although I do have dreams that mess with my psyche, I'd still rather be asleep because it serves as an outlet for me to escape my own mediocre reality. That's also why I read so much and watch tv/movies. It's an escape. Most people can't understand how I can read for hours at a time, but that's just that, they don't understand or have ever needed to escape the sting the world invokes all over me.

"I have an aunt who whenever she poured anything for you she would say "Say when". My aunt would say "Say when" and of course, we never did. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better."
^My alcoholic preferences.

"For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything. "
^So true, my second favorite.

"We all remember the bed time stories of our childhoods. The shoes fits- cinderella, the frog turns into the prince, sleeping beauty is awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time and then they lived happily ever after. Fairytales, the stuff of dreams. The problem is fairy tales don't come true. It's the other stories, the ones that begin with dark and stormy nights that end in the unspeakable. It's the nitemares that always seem to become reality. The person that invented the phrase "happily ever after" should have his ass kicked.. so hard."
^Enough said.

Yep.
Damn I'm hurting right now.. fuck.