Fuck

I thought I was okay, but obviously I'm not. I ran out of my 1month Elavil a day and a half ago. I thought I should try going without meds, that maybe I'm okay. But I need to remind myself that I've done that before, and it didn't work out well. But fuck, the anti-depressants are making me gain weight and it's pissing me off. I've worked so hard to lose weight, now I'm gaining it back. Fuck. I feel so fucking hopeless. Yet again. I just want all this to end. Fuck, I should go see my doctor tomorrow, but I don't know. Nothing is working, I just want to give up. Fuck. Goddamnit.