I woke up so distraught this one night so much so that I had to do something about it. So there is what I wrote in my notebook- of course with some better editing and revising than a blurry wake up transcribing.
"It's so stupid. Even in my dreams, I still can't escape. And I remember the ones with you so vividly, while others I can hardly recall by the time I've woken up.
I hate it, I candidly and genuinely abhor it.
The ones with you, these annoyingly and painstakingly stay with me; though I wholeheartedly wish they didn't, or never came into existence for the matter.
How am I ever going to have even a slightest chance of getting away? How do I effectively disengage from it all? God knows how hard I have been trying for what it seems like forever now, but I always relapse.
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