Looking Glass

To be honest, I don't see what guys see in me. I know inside, my personality is a positive one, my thoughts, outlook, and actions may be beautiful, but outside, I just don't see it. I am so flawed. I don't think I am beautiful, I'm good looking, but I don't think I am remotely, naturally pretty. My mother said it herself, "You're not pretty, you're good looking." There's a difference, anyone can be good looking just by the way they present and polish themselves, but to be naturally beautiful, that takes evolution and naturally selected features.

I know I'm cute and good looking, but, I don't know why, I honestly just don't see it. I have a good body, but anyone can achieve that with hard work and dedication. I don't see why people would say I'm pretty or beautiful. My features are all of my own that are not don't fit into the stereotypical categories and labels of what are considered to be beautiful. Beside a typically typed girl with stereotyped features, I think anyone would choose them over me every time.

Yeah, you will say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that you just have to be confident in yourself. But, I am just being realistically honest here and stating mere observational facts. And I think self esteem and self confidence are two different entities as well. Anyone can scrounge up the courage to be confident, but self esteem? I feel it's something built in us from birth, it's innate.

I don't know, I have days where I think I am pretty, and others, I'm not sure. There are pretty people who truly and wholeheartedly believe that are so beautiful, because most of the time it's true, but me? And then there are sometimes where some people think someone is pretty and then I don't and the ones I think are, others don't think so. I don't know. My features are so not typical, but they are my own. I just wonder what it would feel like to be truly beautiful though. You may say beauty is subjective, and it is, but other times, natural selection and survival of the fittest is already so ingrained in our DNA that it doesn't seem like it at all. That's why most things in life are objective. I guess that will always be a constant.