Honestly? The emotional part of me feels like this: It is what it is because I couldn't afford to be the one to be the first to put myself out there. Because I was scared as hell to do it again. But I wanted you to do something; I was waiting for you to take the initiative and wanted you to make me. But the door is now closed. You closed it before even giving it a try the right way. People are so dense.
It's crazy how I'm more affected by the what could have been than what really is in front of me considering all factors. Being a girl and having all these fluctuating hormones is a trip and makes me laugh hard sometimes.
The real sense part of me feels like this: The sad part is that I knew it wouldn't have worked out given out personalities and I was okay with that. It was just too off. But it wouldn't have hurt to try and it might have even been fun. The sad part is how much this doesn't even seem to remotely affect you, but somehow I've managed to let it affect me the little tiny bit that I have let it. But regardless I do what I do best, which is to keep moving forward. And I'm already over it. Good game.
Shit's DUNZO.
***3:39p.m.
Oh I failed to mention I bought a new book a day ago which I am dying to indulge in. (Though I have yet to finish reading the other three books in the side bar. Though I put them on hold months and weeks ago. Haha!) Cheers.
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