Le Japan

So I came home late today about almost 1a.m. and took a shower and groomed a bit. My mother came into my room and told me her big news. That she would be making a trip to Japan until the 1st of November for vacation. To be honest, I'm really happy for her. I want her to be happy. She absolutely deserves a break for some fun with the girls. And I'll definitely miss her.

The thing is, I'm worried about my father and how he's going to be until she comes back. I'm worried and sad. I'm sad that he's so lonely and just that lonely. But I guess since he has his computer and big screen television that he should be okay. It's very difficult for me to connect with my father. He has never really been around for my entire life and although everyone loves to be hopeful and use the overused cliche of "it's never too late," it actually is. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but the gap is too big and he's been living in China's naive and childlike bubble for his whole lifetime. It's just too hard. As rudimentary a statement as it is. It's true and I have no other way to put it. Because I know that my brother has already disconnected himself from the family, I'll definitely try to have dinner with him or keep him company on the weekends whenever I can because that's what I do. That's what a good daughter does and I still love him immensely as do the rest of my family. And I always will.

It definitely is rough, but I feel like someone has to be the one to try and keep the family together. It's rooted in my entire being. It may be just a mere part, but a part it still is and I can't deny nor detach away from it. The strings will always be there and the burden will always be there. But good night for now.