New Expression Cravings

So I have been thinking about this for a while and I've decided to make over my room this week. It should be excellent since I love side projects and I feel like I just need a new change in my life. I thrive off of any sort of change and this decision involving my room which is my sanctuary, this should be good.

What I really want to do is paint it, but me being Chinese/Taiwanese and my parents being still quite rooted in tradition, I cannot. Asians have this thing about having white walls and that we're allowed to put stuff on it that can be removed but never anything like paint. I blame it on the notion that people are intimidated and afraid of what they don't know or what they don't know how to do.

My mother ranted that the paint would get everywhere and on the floor, yet for those that know of knowledge of paint, there is a lovely thing called tarp that would prevent such happenings. I blame and loathe the ignorance and fear of people. It's especially hard to deal with because I am very flexible and openminded when it comes to things. And this all royally sucks for I want to paint my room and ceiling a charcoal grey and design it with yellow altered stars and maybe draw a tree and definitely have a quote.

I'm also planning to revamp my entire room- curtains closet doors and all. But since my mother literally FLIPPED OUT childish style, the paint will have to wait. I want to paint it but sure that would be the death of my existence. So I am thinking of a new motif, I guess I'll just have to stick with all white. You have to make the best out of the situations you're given. Though I've waited my whole life to paint my walls. I'm starting to think that's why I'm not too creative, because every time I'd like to be, the ideas are shot down. But hopefully by this time next week, the furniture at least will be the way I want it.

In any case, I want to change my hair color as well and dye it completely bottle punk blonde. But seeing as how my mother flipped out on the paint issue, I don't know how I can win my way out of the one.

I know most people would just say "do whatever you want" and usually I do do that because I am old enough to make my own decisions. But Asians have this thing about being a good daughter or son and doing what is just right for the family. Inside I am rooted beyond anything to continue to be a good daughter because loosely translated from Chinese "it is what is right and what should be done."

I have dyed my hair in the past, but never anything as drastic as a whole head of blonde from a whole head of dark brown hair. My dad would surely flip because us being Chinese/Taiwanese in every traditional aspect with its customs and spiritual beliefs/superstitions, it would be clearly detrimental to my life. (Sarcasm intended but to my parents it's serious talk)

My family is pretty lenient on the things I do for example my physical appearance choices of hair dye, nail polish, black eyeliner- not a lot but enough for them to think its too dark, tattoos and past piercings at a number of 13- all which have been taken out. I've broken free of the model minority mold from my parents a long time ago, but there are still some things I know I have to abide by. I know when to push buttons and lines that cannot be crossed without some easing into or hesitation.

So to see the ungauged reaction of my mother's last night completely floored me. I don't know how they'd take the news of me wanting to change my hair color a complete 180 degrees. I'm even sure that these drastic changes in color- paint and hair dye, may not even happen. We shall see.

I hope you all are having a lovely weekend.