So my friend took me to go make an appointment and the whole time I was fighting the urge to run the other way. To be honest I wanted to chicken out. And had it not been for my dear friend with strong discipline, I would have chickened out. I started trying to justify my reasons and actions so that I wouldn't have to go and confront the possibilities of my issues. I tried to justify that since I was feeling better that maybe I was okay and that nothing was wrong with me afterall. But then I realized, no, that's denial, and as cliche as it sounds, denial is a sign of trouble not to mention my urge to prepare flight. So thus my appointment is this coming friday and we shall see what comes of it.
On another note, I'm starting to think that maybe something is wrong. I mean I may have flukes of feeling better, but ultimately, not so much. I feel like shit and I can't deny it or lie to myself anymore. Right now I feel awful and yes I kind of want to cry. I wish there was something that could completely remove my miserable feeling from my chest so that it was never there and that I was brand new. I hurt everywhere and everything hurts me. I need to stop lying to myself just to get through an issue that will eventually return if I don't ever really confront it.
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