Crazy how everything can be so fine and then so not fine all at the same time. Overall my mental health has been pretty great though. I've been tracking it carefully after I've decided to stop taking my meds. I have my moments, yet I've never felt so alive and awake this whole time that I've been on meds than I am now, now that I'm not medicated anymore. Granted yes, I'm not numbed anymore and that I am feeling everything just as much as I ever did because I just feel everything tenfold in my life. I like feeling numb, just not in a cloudy not awake state, which is what the meds put me in, I didn't feel like I was awake. But now that I think of it, I've never done so much damage- physically, mentally, emotionally- to myself than I did when I was on anti-depressants. I've been pretty steady off my meds. Of course not stable, but definitely a whole lot better and brighter collectively. I am much more open now, accepting, and okay of who I am. It's just my life and something I'll always have to deal with.
Can't let it get me down. Got to keep moving.
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