And it doesn't help that you just texted me back saying you don't know what to say. You never do.
I told you, maybe it was all in my head, and if it was then sorry. But that these words are my two cents.
I just told you that I can't do this anymore. That this was so stupid because we've always just been friends and it's already so messed up. That I'm tired of waiting for you. And that I love you and probably always will, but I need to love myself more. And if you don't know how you feel about me now, then I can't do this to myself again if you won't be there when I always am.
I'm sure I just chased you away for good. (Maybe that was my subconscious intention? Let's not get all psychological right now) But at least I said what I needed to say.
Just deleted all prior items.
Spotlight
- mynameisjane
- hi, with warning. i am entirely damaged and crazy with masochistic tendencies and an addictive self-destructive personality. but i am in the trials of self-recovery- though thoroughly failing in the process, here's to hoping- one day- someday. in form of pure tried articulation of the written word, this space keeps the highly erratic and darkly emotional self reflection of my contemplative life with bits of sunshine scattered in between. i am a mess; i absolutely create disasters and inevitably fuck everything up. so decide if you are one who actually thinks and chooses for his own mind or one who is fated to predestined cowardice, forever running away like the rest of the narrow minded sheep in this world and unable to embrace the violent and bittersweet storm of harsh realness.
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