Secret

I'm scared that I may really need more help than I already do. I don't have the courage to admit to my physician, who is prescribing me the medication, just how bad the extent of my depression is. I am incapable of admitting to him of my darker follies. He doesn't know about my suicidal thoughts or how much self loathing I go through. And I know I should tell him and start to see a psychiatrist, but how do I even manage to speak those initial words?