This

From this night forward, I will do my damnedest to not think of you.
Truth be told, I'm already so over you and have been. I just need to stop holding you in my thoughts and heart. I am genuinely so over you and have been trying so hard to leave all this and you behind. Just as you had left me so easily and swiftly. We are, this is so over that there needs to be another disaster not involving us on the face of this universe to redefine the word over.
My mind jumps back and forth recalling everything, to the negative then the positive and then circumventing each other and wound around one another, every perceived good and bad possible analyzation- all the time. But in the end I always come back to one -the only one conclusion after having broken everything down for the millionth time and recalled all the unseen signs- it all doesn't matter. Because too much damage has been done and it may be almost beyond repair to ever really change anything. How is this even happening? where I am still keeping you in my thoughts even though we absolutely don't speak at all anymore? when we absolutely have no links to one another? It's pathetic. You have obviously so easily forgotten and left me, and I just need to act accordingly and do the same.
I'm tired of thinking about you, I'm tired of missing you, I'm tired of wanting you near, I'm tired of always looking for some resemblance of you everywhere I go, I'm tired of writing about you, I'm tired of how much this and you have so clouded, consumed, obsessed, fucked up, manipulated, and beat my mind. I'm tired of still thinking about you after so much time of no communication whatsoever has passed. I'm tired of actually letting this happen. I'm tired of being able to repress these thoughts for so long and then for these thoughts to creep back in. I'm so tired of sentimentalizing this all in my head for no absolutely substantial reason. I'm so tired of not being the amazing girl I was before you came back in my life, before I finally relented to letting you back in. I'm so tired of being a fucking dumbass for all this ridiculously absurd, crazy, and wasted idealization and romanticization. I am so sick of this. So over this. This is it. I am definitely a crazy person, but I don't need to do this kind of excess crazy fictional sentimentalism. I'm pragmatic and sane enough to know and acknowledge that.
This is me, getting over you. For the last time. This is me, never speaking of you again, doing my damnedest to never do all of the above ever again.