Abridged Jumpstart

On a whim after work on this past Monday, I decided to chop off all my hair. Again. (I have also begun going back to the gym this week which I hope to continue henceforth. I gotta tell you I forgot just how much I loved working out everyday and how it made me feel. but this entry isn't about that right now) The last time I have had my hair this short was back in high school a good 6 years ago, and even then this is still an inch shorter than that.

It had been nearly a month since my last hair cut. Almost mid-back that was cut to just below the shoulders.

Now it's an edgy A-line bob with bangs that just barely grazes under my chin. I literally have short hair and to be honest, I love it.
You gotta love these spontaneous self-gratifying impulses.

I wanted a change. I needed one. I craved one to push me into a new transformation of a being free from all of the ghosts who have been haunting her. A forced change if you will. Necessity is indeed the mother of all invention right? Desperate times call for desperate measures and when put, no, voluntarily chosen to be forced into an extreme entirely out of your own comfort zone, wonderful things can happen. A new hair cut can change a person's life. (as well as a new pair of shoes, hair color, song, book, etc.) Or so is the hoped for purpose and executed intention.

Yeah, I'm the kind of person who likes to push outside the boundaries of her own comfort zone time and time again. It enforces that you're still alive- inside, rather than merely passing through the motions of mundane life.

I'm so ready to be somebody new and better. I'm so ready not to think of you anymore. I'm so ready not to have dreams about you any longer. I'm so ready to forget you, you, and you. Without wanting you to hopefully some day one day come back with open arms and tell me what I want to hear, ready to give me what I want from you.

I'm so ready to begin successfully healing myself entirely internally and externally. (i've stopped smoking, now it's sometimes only when I drink, and I'm not cutting myself anymore though sometimes I still get the urge to. no worries, I resist. and I've been taking my medication regularly! Huzzah.)

I was ready for a new change, so ready, and I didn't wait for it this time. But then again I often never do given my compulsive personality. Yes I didn't wait, instead without even a second thought, I took it.