Once I got home I texted my friend (my friends always make me text then whenever I've gotten home safe, I know right? greatest friends ever), "Gnite, Glad you're safe."
My initial response in my head, "I'm safe, but I'm not okay."
'Course I would never admit that openly.
Alcohol is a demon.
I hurt everywhere. Why did you have to come back. Why do you have to tell me things. Typical. But I should be over this by the end of this week as you'll be or already are back in Hawaii. Thanks.
But I'm sorry, I need to do something. The cigarettes and alcohol aren't enough. My first slight regression. When I'm sober, I'm grand. When I indulge in my vices, not so much.
I'm sorry, just a baby one. I have to. (so much for blog title change, changed it back) But we'll all continue living.
Spotlight
- mynameisjane
- hi, with warning. i am entirely damaged and crazy with masochistic tendencies and an addictive self-destructive personality. but i am in the trials of self-recovery- though thoroughly failing in the process, here's to hoping- one day- someday. in form of pure tried articulation of the written word, this space keeps the highly erratic and darkly emotional self reflection of my contemplative life with bits of sunshine scattered in between. i am a mess; i absolutely create disasters and inevitably fuck everything up. so decide if you are one who actually thinks and chooses for his own mind or one who is fated to predestined cowardice, forever running away like the rest of the narrow minded sheep in this world and unable to embrace the violent and bittersweet storm of harsh realness.
No comments:
Post a Comment