It's a two way street.
It can go both ways. I feel like I am on an edge right now with two options.
I could either let myself fall back into my secluded, dark and twisty, yet still and always blissfully safe place, or arrive at an impasse and continue moving forward ignoring the pain onto the road of the carefree and don't give a fuck/nonchalant 'happy' state. Even though there are so many other things going for me right now, there are up and downs. But the downs really suck and really make me question how worth it everything is. Too many hardships and trials, too many things, dangerous things, that I want and too many things that are not good for me. And it's so much easier to just quit even if I am the hopeless eternal optimist. I want to hide into myself so badly and disappear from the world. We'll see which side I choose to jump. Hopefully I'll be good as new come tomorrow morning. Start a new day right?
Spotlight
- mynameisjane
- hi, with warning. i am entirely damaged and crazy with masochistic tendencies and an addictive self-destructive personality. but i am in the trials of self-recovery- though thoroughly failing in the process, here's to hoping- one day- someday. in form of pure tried articulation of the written word, this space keeps the highly erratic and darkly emotional self reflection of my contemplative life with bits of sunshine scattered in between. i am a mess; i absolutely create disasters and inevitably fuck everything up. so decide if you are one who actually thinks and chooses for his own mind or one who is fated to predestined cowardice, forever running away like the rest of the narrow minded sheep in this world and unable to embrace the violent and bittersweet storm of harsh realness.
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