As bad as it sounds, truthfully, I try so hard not to ram myself into a fucking wall every time I am driving my car; to just end it all. Is that a bad mentality to have?
I will never admit it, but thus is contradictory than I will now, I want so badly to find someone who will just love me completely the way I will love them wholly.
I crave love and to be loved. (Such a weakness I hate to admit, but if you cannot be honest here, where can you be?)
And I hate it. I hate that I am so vulnerable. All I want is to be loved.
And all I want is just that one person. All you need is just one person.
I am so broken and needing of the tender unconditional love that it is almost pathetic.
Sometimes I feel that it is impossible and that I will never find what I am looking for.
I hurt all over at different times though I try to hide it through my false bravery.
All I want is just that one person. And I know that is not too much to ask for.
I want to be saved from myself.
I hate that sometimes I hurt so much for something that seems so unattainable but will be able to heal my entire soul. (How tragic and pathetic is it not?)
Is life really what this hopeless despair is supposed to be?
Is life really supposed to be this shitty?
Are my idealistic and romanticist notions clouding my vision?
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