Though most times I may feel hopeless, there are things that are able to make it all better to bring me out of the rut. And I just wanted to share a hidden passion for certain things that I just truly love that entirely fill me with an enchanting and, albeit I know I use this word or form of this word all too often, transcending feeling.
For some reason or another, I absolutely love things set in a different period or era. I absolutely love love love: classical music (piano is my favorite or string mixed symphonies), jazz/blues (ie; Etta James, Billie Holiday, Otis Redding, Louis Armstrong type of rhythm and blues), period books and films or basically anything set in another era than this one we live in (preferably from the 1800s-1960s UK:England or US:New England: 1900s-1960s). I think that's what I really wish for to be when I spoke about the world in my mind I desire to be transported to in the entry Transcendence. I don't know what it is about that life that just attracts me so. I think it's the slower simplicity and the heightened subtlety that radiates the propriety and composure that I wish everyone had. I just love it and I can't help it.
We live in a world, especially me being in America (California to be exact; the most superficial state by far), that is filled with such vulgarity and lack of etiquette as well as common courtesy that sometimes I really cannot stand it. My goal for when I "grow up", I realize I am 21 and "grown up", but I mean completely financially stable and successful and all that aspiring goodness, is to really end up in England. I don't know what it is, maybe I've been brainwashed one too many times by everything (Which as you can see I most clearly am because I do realize that times have changed and I may know nothing or the real ideological systems there.), but the romanticist in me just wishes for I guess any part of that beauty that once was. I am just so fascinated with that sort of culture; I guess it's because I can't even begin to relate or touch it given my Chinese heritage.
But as for the purpose of this entry, I just wanted to archive and share the things that I just simply love that I know most of my peers would not even begin to relate or understand and therefore would actually see as completely strange (Because let's face it, kids these days in America are completely brainwashed by society's ideologies that they are so narrow-minded and in the system that they know no other way to be and aren't even able to become aware of it) These things are what keep me going and my spirits high in hope when I have clearly and willingly given up on mankind for now.
In my opinion, for right now in this disastrous world, wouldn't it better to just indulge in fantasies and dreams (mind you completely acknowledging the fact that they are dreams and fantasies not to be blurred with reality) so that you can be happy or stay happy in some way that serves as a prevention from constant jests and wounds from the progressing viciousness and degradation of humankind? (Honestly, sometimes I think about what has happened to the world today and it is just heartbreaking.) At least I would rather prefer that for now. This way I have a place in my own world that I can go to that saves me from not only the horrible outside cruel world, but also from my destructive self when nothing else can. What could be more perfect than getting lost in books, films, and music? I wish that all of you have something that lifts you up to feel hopeful when you have begun to sink because I know that I am so glad that I do. Everyone needs something like that don't they?
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I love your post. I am 22 and still dont feel grown up as I am still in a way dependent on people. But life is full of surprises so you never know what you may be feeling a year from now :-)
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