I am at a loss for words right now as I am sitting here with shock and increasing numbness, but all I can say is that I feel like crying so badly. Mind you this has absolutely nothing to do with the previous post. This is a whole different situation all on its own. But everything to do with the fragility of my own crazy mind. Fuck. I actually have tears steaming down my face which seems almost insane and nonsensical because I never have been able to cry when I have felt like it or really wanted to for relief. Talk about the miraculous workings of frustration and anxiety mixed in with disbelief and being utterly thrown off. Thanks, a lot. Fuck.
I need a hard drink and a Marlboro.
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