This is Day 1.
Day 1 of me trying to live my life without any of you. I haven't been filtering out you guys as beneficially and efficiently as I usually do and am supposed to. And I need to. And I want to. (But we all know just how poorly disciplined I am in the things that I have to do or should do haha. I'm working on it) I'm so sick of the opposite sex and relationships and lust or infatuation. I'm so sick of anything to do with any of that. So sick of the expectation, anticipation, and all the emotions that cloud everything all up. And it's not just those of the opposite sex! It's just everyone in general with the few select close lovelies whom I call my true friends. Just people that tend to piss me off on a daily basis. And usually I never use the word "piss" or any form relating to the word because I fully loathe vulgarity or phonetically ugly words. But I really feel like I'm surrounded by stupid people, all the time. Do any of you ever feel like that? Like you are just so different and don't fit into the environment you're forced to be submerged in? I'm constantly becoming irritated because of just how stupid the "unnecessaries" inhabited by others are. And it's a shame because i know there is so much more to life than this. I'm just stuck in an inbetween right now.
And I feel like for the first time in a while, I really just want to be alone and left alone to do my own thing. I'm so sick of everything and I just want my own peace of mind and solitude. And I actually am quite content and happy about this resolution I've come to.
So this is Day 1. Day 1 of trying this new method. I don't mean shut the world out "emo" style. (Though I do love to do that sometimes.) But more so greater focus on my own being and not putting having to put up with other people or things that I don't want to deal with. I've always said that we're old enough to filter out just who and what we want in our lives and don't want in our lives. And I've seemed to have lost own of my rules to live by as this quarter's mediocrity has taken its influence on me. It's time I regain it back by applying it. This may be the beginning of a new catharsis. How exciting.
Spotlight
- mynameisjane
- hi, with warning. i am entirely damaged and crazy with masochistic tendencies and an addictive self-destructive personality. but i am in the trials of self-recovery- though thoroughly failing in the process, here's to hoping- one day- someday. in form of pure tried articulation of the written word, this space keeps the highly erratic and darkly emotional self reflection of my contemplative life with bits of sunshine scattered in between. i am a mess; i absolutely create disasters and inevitably fuck everything up. so decide if you are one who actually thinks and chooses for his own mind or one who is fated to predestined cowardice, forever running away like the rest of the narrow minded sheep in this world and unable to embrace the violent and bittersweet storm of harsh realness.
1 comment:
New catharisis eh? ok. Whee.
By the by, welcome to the world of the avoided...seems you happened to have bumped into one of the people from your species...I wont try and illustrate how I stand out blah...read what I write and you would know what am sayin....
In dreams and defiance,
Scribblers Inc.
P.S.-Word check is something that pops up when you are leavin a comment and its mostly arbid. This time its "neurra". By the by, drop in a line if you could at insanemindfreak@gmail.com. Communication out here gets a lil extraterrestrial... happy weekendin'
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