Back At 1

Now that my seasonal job is over, I am right back where I started from. Except hopefully, a little wiser, but definitely a little older.

I don't know if I'll ever be ready enough to throw myself back into a regular routine. But I just want to really focus on being healthy right now. Mentally and physically. My job made me slip back a bit and relapse. And that worries me. It was only for 3 months, but one relapse is all it takes.

My hopes and dreams? They say that if you're not working toward your hopes and dreams, that you're not really living your life. So that turns my perspective around. My hopes and dreams:

To not always feel so trapped inside my own body.
To not feel like I'm close to tears, all the damn time.
To not wake up every day and already be looking forward to bedtime.
To accept all of my flaws and actions and then not always have something to feel guilty about afterwards.
To like who I am and not give a fuck.
To learn to let go instead of cover up.

So I suppose I am living. Rather than what I always thought instead, which was just merely going through the motions of life.

I am living.
I am alive.
I live.