Tired

I'm so tired of trying and caring so hard everyday with and for every extension of me- going above and beyond to meet every high expectation of me. I'm so tired of "this" life. So tired of thinking, feeling, caring; so tired of being crazy, paranoid, and emotional. I'm not doing it anymore, any of it. I'm done. It's just going to be "my" life from now on until my light gets back to burning gem-like hard, my protective bubble encasing. Anything else is just too exhausting. I need to get rid of all the metaphorical excess dead weight in my life. I need to retreat, to repair rather than continue my pattern of skilled ruin.