Fall

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall"- F. Scott Fitzgerald

So this is love.

Yep

Totally jinxed it. Royally fucked it up again.

I Never Knew

I never knew that life could be like this. A continuous stream of steady happiness. Yes, interruptions occur once in a while, but they're always manageable and we are here now, together. I'm so glad we had another chance, I love you. It's weird not being the sad girl anymore. My meds are finally established in a formula that works after almost 3 years, I am on my career pathway and in grad school, and I'm in love with a man who gets me and loves me for who I am and not for what. Alright, I'm done, nobody wants to hear the happy girl boast. But I have avoided blogging since for I feared jinxing my situation. Talking about it makes it real and then it's able to be taken away. Cheers, lovers.

"Love" doesn't exist

But pain does, and it always demands to be felt. 

No one will ever love the bipolar girl.

Him

If he isn't as into me as I am into him, surely I'm in trouble. I hope he can love someone like me because I'm so grateful to have met him. It's too soon and we are running out of time. But darling, you said you'd come back. And I want to do everything and go everywhere with you, babe. 

Other Revelations

Fuck. What is this life? What will we ever know? We won't. So who's to say what is or what isn't. Who has the privilege of distinguishing truth against fictionalization? We all know know the unanswerable answer, We just all choose to disbelieve it. Yet, it is always there, beneath the surface. It dwells and reminds. It doesn't matter if we had ever had a time of innocence, all that matters is who we are now and what we have become. The future is all we have at the present. It is the invisible strength that renders us vulnerable and compassionate. And without both, we would not nearly be as whole of a person as anybody ever could. But then again, who's to say what's what and who's to say whom's whom.

Mother Of Mine

Lecturing me on how NOT to be bipolar. Nice. (sarcasm intended)

Capabilities

Do you think I may be incapable of love? Possibly. You can't give what you don't have. 

Lust I have, but love? Not sure about that.

Nick

I love him. 

World help me. 

I've fallen, so completely.

Dislikes

I don't like being away from you for too long.

Actually, I hate it.

How am I going to fall asleep without you next to me.