You don't get to be mean.

It doesn't matter how I choose to fix what you broke.

Day1 Relocation-Taiwan

Don't fall apart.

Heal

I can feel my inner rays of light bursting out and permeating my every being beginning to extinguish any trace of what once was damaged and abandoned in the dark depths of my heart and soul. The hazy sunshine within me of which I thought had disappeared has reemerged and proved itself to be now stronger than ever. I've always had that hard gem-like flame, that intensity and firery passion, but what I had thought I had lost long ago was the pure delight and enjoyment of innocent and happy revelation in just the existence and the appreciation for life. As I lay here on a beautiful sunny afternoon in bed, enjoying the slow and simultaneously cool and hot breeze through the window, I am reminded of a time where hope could be found and possibly held on to longer. All of my senses have finally awoken and my lust for life that I once thirsted for has now begun to return.

Act 5

There are just some things you don't and can't come back from.

Setting you free.

I'm letting you go.

Bleed.

Done.

One

The sky looks beautiful from my new windows tonight.

An end

Our story has come to an end.

I don't want to not know you.

I don't want to pretend as if we had never existed.

Take care of my heart,

for it is with you.

The truth

I don't owe you anything.

And you don't deserve my given kindness.

Where I want to be

The only time I've ever felt right was in your arms.

Disappear

If I can't see it, it can't hurt me.

Farewell

My love.

I miss you so much.

When I told you that you were my home and as long as I had you, I was home, I meant it. 

I am left hoping some day I'll breathe again

What kind of heart doesn't look back?

Some days are harder than others of course. Like today.

Seeds

Seeds and fresh soil have been put in place of the holes of rubble that you created and left behind. And soon, the wild flowers will begin to grow again.

Over

Over.

Over

Over.

I miss you, everyday. 

It's Not Worth It.

No more love.

Trazedone

So take a couple of more pills to numb yourself and fall asleep. Waking up is the worst. Stay asleep.

My Only Relief

I promised you on our 2nd or 3rd date that I wouldn't cut anymore, but you promised me you wouldn't give up. Deal's off. Pain demands to be felt.

Picture

'Til I Get Over You

Counting the days.

Power

You're even still able to hurt me in my dreams.

This Is What You Wanted

And now you no longer have me.

Nothing even matters anymore.

Me

Love me when I'm at my worst because that is when I need it the most.

You

You're the only one I want.

Whatever It Takes

Just get through this.

7 days without you makes one weak.

Paint It Black

Rereading one of Janet Fitch's masterpieces today because I need to read something beautiful today.

One

Give me a reason to get out of bed.

Jump Ship

Beginning to get that sinking feeling again.

Erroneous

Love is for fucking fools.

No. 1

No more saying sorry!

New Year, Better Me

One of the hardest things is literally getting yourself up out of bed everyday to begin your day. You do that, you're already succeeding at life.

Notice I didn't say new year, new me? Because if it weren't for everything that had happened to you in the past, the good and the bad, then you really wouldn't be the person you are and have become. 

So think about it, can you remember who you were before society told you who you should be?

Learning to love yourself is another difficult task in life. The best advice I can give about that, as someone who has a major love/hate relationship with herself with every changing moment, is to do everything at your own pace. Learn to love yourself on your own terms. Nothing was every accomplished without some form of lasting and genuine commitment. Whatever it is, learning a new hobby, or even stepping outside for 10 minutes for a day- all big accomplishments. 2015, be fearless.